Monday, 9 May 2016

Bringing a girl home

Anon asks...

If I were to go out to a bar tonight, how would I go about bringing a girl home to f**k?

The Naked Listener writes...

You have to look good first. If girls rate you 8 or 9/10 then you have a shot, unless you plan on picking up the local barslut who has taken all the regulars.

Alcohol impairs judgement -- act confident and pretend you're deep, play it slick, and you might get a better rating. But most of it is all looks. If you look like shit, nobody is going to be interested.

To be honest, you have to go to a bar with a friend to get you talking. Keep the beer and laughs flowing. Then you chat up a girl.

Going by yourself will just have you looking like a depressed, drunk, old guy.

But if you dare go alone, you'll want three or four drinks in advance of going, and do another drink at the bar. Find a girls who's smiling or laughing, and just jump into the conversation with lies and bullshit. Say you went to Italy or Greece or some exotic place.

Be attractive. Dress nice. Be confident.

Which I'm assuming you're not any of the above.

Another anon butts in...
"I don't go out often. The few times I have gone out in the last two to three years, alone, nobody talks to me but gay men. It's still kind of nice to talk with people, but unfortunately I'm not gay, so... Our current culture means women are 'afraid' of men, because obviously we're all terrible and violent, so you're forced to 'approach' a woman, who will instantly be suspicious of you."
Sunday, 9 May 2016

How to respond to a salary question

Anon asks...

How do I respond to the salary question as a potential intern?

I am a law student and going to make my first internship abroad in a big law firm in Switzerland. They asked me about my expectation of the salary, I didn't even expect that this internship would be paid. What can I say?

The Naked Listener writes...

In other words, "what are your salary requirements?"

Always kick off with the feel-good phrase "I ask only for a moderate pay" -- meaningless, of course, but sets a nice tone for starting negotiations. You're an intern, so you can't expect a full-fledged lawyer's remuneration package. You want to get your foot in the door first, so let's not haggle over prices. The door first, the money afterwards (or later).

Once they offer you "X" amount, then start showing your "commitment to the cause" with this spiel:-

"That's very kind of you. I would really like to be 100% into the firm when over there, so this level will be reasonably enough to get by for a foreigner like me in Switzerland, yes?"

Hopefully, they'll be honest with you at that point. If they say something like "No, you'll have to cover your expenses with [freelancing]" then the decision will be made for you to take up or reject.

But much more importantly, will the firm offer you paid accommodation? If you're there and you have to fork out for quarters, then it's an impossible job. (You may or may not still take up the offer because of this.)

Some extra tips:-

31 Dec 2014


Sunday, 8 May 2016

Does the word 'inch' end with the letters i-n-c-h?

The Naked Listener writes...

Strictly speaking, the word inch wouldn't qualify as a word ending in the four letters I, N, C and H. The reason is that inch is the whole word with those four letters -- inch doesn't end in them; it is them.

Words that end in -i-n-c-h are cinch, clinch, finch, pinch, winch, etc.

Shit for brains

Some people ask the most incredible and unanswerable of things, proving that some really do have shit for brains ('SIB').

SIB: If the word inch didn't end in I-N-C-H, what would it spell?

Me (eyerolling): I honestly don't know how to answer that. The word 'inch' is spelled i-n-c-h as you know already -- just that it doesn't end in i-n-c-h. It's the other words that end in those four letters.

SIB: What are the last 4 letters of the word inch?

Me: There are no "last" four letters for the word 'inch.' You can see that yourself.

SIB: Counting from the last letter first, I count 4 letters.

Me: I have to say you have an unusual way of interpreting what the phrase "ending in" means. When we say a word ending in certain letters, we don't normally consider the whole word that spells in those letters. We only consider those words that actually end in those set of letters, so w-inch, cl-inch, f-inch, fl-inch, etc.

SIB: Who is 'we' in this context. Is there an official interpretation? I think your answer depends on what you consider a norm, which is in this case subjective. However we can objectively agree that working backwards from the last letter, the word inch ends with the letters "i-n-c-h". Would you not agree? I am looking for the most objective answer.

(Is he actually aware that he's non compos mentis?)

Me: I'm sorry I don't know what you're asking for then. The 'we' means the general run of native English speakers as far as myself goes and in my general experience of native English speakers. The word 'inch' doesn't end in "inch" -- it's actually spelled in that.

SIB: Is it possible to be both spelled in it and ending in it (in your view)? Why are the two things mutually exclusive?

(In my view, is it now?)

Me: Mainly because the phrasal verb "to end in" means "to have or give final cause or purpose" (a usage that dates from the early 1500s). In our context here, the end cause/purpose is the i-n-c-h as the ending.

SIB's motivation for asking the question

He said it himself:-

"A game show I was watching with a friend had a round where they had to list the words ending with 'inch' and nobody said 'inch.' As a programmer I suggested it and the person I was with thought I was crazy. It spawned a long philosophical debate that only Quora could settle."

Your friend is right about you. No, you're wrong about it being 'philosophical.' You're thinking of programming, in which case 'inch' may legitimately end in 'inch.'

But you DIDN'T make it clear it was about programming, did you?


I mean, honestly, right? If he's so goddamned sure about it, why's he asking in the first place? Idiot.

I mean, I would recommend anyone to also include the word 'inch' in such a list, but I wouldn't say 'inch' ends in i-n-c-ch because the whole word is spelled that.

Think of it this way -- Does the word 'inch' end in -ch? See what I mean.

21 Aug 2015


What are some tips for writing the conclusion sentence?

The Naked Listener writes...

Avoid starting the conclusion paragraph with the phrase "In conclusion..." It makes for a dead-fish flavour.

Unless the piece is for some kind of academically related activity (such as an exam, which may insist on that usage), start with something more engaging like "All in all," "All things being equal," "Given the above reasons" or something along those lines.

Other than that, never introduce new ideas or new information in the conclusion. It should strictly focus on summarising or pronouncing a judgment on matters covered in the preceding paragraphs of the piece.

21 Aug 2015


Thursday, 27 August 2015

Unmotivated to make a hundred grand, what to do?

"I set a goal to make $100k a year, which is doable but the nature of the job is boring. I don't have any options aside from this job, and I have no degree or credentials. Mindful of this, I'm still not motivated, yet very unhappy about currently making no money. What can I do?"

The Naked Listener writes...

You want to make a hundred grand a year and you could do it, but then again you're unmotivated. Then I don't know how my answer could spur an unmotivated person to get going. The person has to be motivated to some degree at the outset, otherwise the whole thing is a non-starter.

In short, if you don't have the motivation, it isn't doable.

If you're happy enough making no money right now, then you're okay, so why bother thinking about the hundred grand or the job unless you're motivated in some way?

If you're unhappy about making no money and if the job is the only one virtually open to you (because of whatever reason), then make a decision to go for it or not. If you go for it, that means you're not exactly unmotivated as you claim. If you don't go for it, then the matter is solved -- you're happy as you are.

Written 26 Aug 2015


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